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1) According to you, it’s a MYTH that men are supposed to make the first move with women. That’s right. Women initiate, men pursue. Men will pursue ONLY when they get a sign that a woman is open to his advances. So it’s up to women to choose men they like and either show them through body language that they’re interested, or directly initiate things with men by making conversation and even giving a phone number. This reduces a guy’s odds of making an unwanted advance or being rejected outright, and increases a woman’s odds of getting to go out with the guys she likes. Women who sit back and hope the right guy will approach them don’t usually get what they want. 2) If you had to choose, which of the Top Ten Dating Mistakes in It’s Not Him, It’s You is the biggest? Mistake #2: Your attitude sucks. The other nine dating mistakes make dating more difficult and decrease your chances of success – but a bad attitude about dating or men will absolutely destroy your dating life. This is why I say that dating success is largely determined before you ever go out on a date. 3) Can you give some examples of a bad attitude? One example is women who dislike men, or don’t trust men. Often, they’ve had bad experiences and don’t always realize how much their pasts are ruining their chances of future happiness. A more subtle example of a bad attitude is subscribing to The Scarcity Myth: the false belief that there are very few good men out there. 4) You say It’s Not Him, It’s You is “research-based.” What do you mean by that? Most dating books base their advice on the personal beliefs and experiences of the author. The advice in It’s Not Him, It’s You is based on actual behavioral research findings. For example, I advise women to make the first move with men not because I believe it’s better, but because research has shown again and again that females should (and do) make the first move. |
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